I’m 17 and sleeping with three different men | Tell Me Pastor

Dear Pastor,

I am 17 and I left high school last year with seven CXC subjects. I have had sex with 15 men throughout my years of high school. I started to have sex when I was 11 years old.

I live with my mother and stepfather. He is very strict, but my mom allows me to do anything I want. Since 10th grade, I have to be sleeping with older men for money to send myself to school because my mom has stopped giving me money to go to school and my stepdad doesn’t know about it. He’s on farm work every six months.

I also have to buy my own snacks. She only gives me food when she cooks. She is a hairdresser, and I am not her only child. I am currently dating three men.

One of them is the manager for a large business; one is not in Jamaica, but he visits me every three months; and the other one is a manager for a car mart.

The one who does not live in Jamaica is 50. He takes care of me very well. He bought me a 32-inch TV, a bed, a chest of drawers, and one of the latest smartphones.

He always tries to ensure I have money for school and food in my house. My mother knows about this man. He is very caring, but sometimes he gets paid late.

He told me that he would marry me and take me to where he is when I am 18.

The furniture store manager cares for me also. He gave me a part-time job in his business. He knows about my foreign partner.

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Every time I tell him I am hungry, he always brings me food to eat. Even when he is on his job, he leaves and brings the food for me.

But I think he lives with his babymother and does not want to tell me.

One day I told him I would like to come to his house and he said that was not possible as he does not want to disrespect his babymother, because she and the children come to the house sometimes. He gives me $4,000 every week. He is 45.

The one who runs the car mart has his girlfriend. I always ‘link’ him every week and he gives me $5,000 after we have sex. It was my friend who set me up with this man that works at the car mart.

Pastor, I am tired of this life. I want to back out. I am too young for this kind of life I am living. Sometimes I feel suicidal. Thank you in advance.

Initial Withheld

Dear Writer,

I have taken note of the seriousness of your case. You do not have to come to my office at all. You may speak to me on the telephone. You can call any of my numbers: 1876-929-1667 or 1876-877-1009 and speak to me in confidence.

I am deeply concerned about your situation, but I am confident that the good Lord can rescue you from the predicaments in which you have found yourself.

What is done is done. You cannot reverse your past, therefore it would do no good for me or anybody to condemn you. You started to have sex at a very tender age.

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As I see it, men have taken advantage of you. You say your stepfather was strict. How then did you have so much time to have sex with these men?

I want to discourage you from having sexual relations with three different men. That is so dangerous. Two of these men know about each other. I know you are not proud of what is happening. It is affecting you emotionally, physically and spiritually.

MARRIAGE

The guy who lives abroad is promising to marry you; that is just a promise. That does not mean much.

The one who has given you a part-time job is most likely living with his children’s mother. He does not want you to come to his house.

Evidently, you are carrying the financial burden of your mother’s home because if you are receiving money from these men and right now you have a great need (which I will not mention) you still need help.

Some people would be quick to condemn you because you became sexually active when you were 11. I would ask such persons to remember that these men who had sex with you should be tried and put in prison. They have contributed to your misery.

I hope that you would turn your life totally over to the Lord. Keep one boyfriend if you must. I will be praying for you. I hope to hear from you very soon.

Pastor

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